The only one who's heard any of this is poor M2, and even she hasn't heard the (for now) denouement, so I don't feel bad boring you all with it. Like that's ever stopped me anyway.
Justin (or "Justin") is, you may remember, the dude I hired off Craigslist to do my yardwork. Two weeks ago this past Tuesday, to be exact. Justin was supposed to get in touch with me that Friday to set a date to do my work. He knew it wouldn't be that weekend because he already had a job lined up. Monday Justin emails me, apologizes for not getting back to me sooner, and says he'll do my job the next weekend, with details of exactly when later in the week. Later in the week (i.e. Friday) Justin says he'll come work on my yard Monday and Tuesday afternoon. Monday and Tuesday is not exactly "the weekend" but whatever.
In the meantime, the wet weather has made the grass and weeds in my front yard about a foot high. I am totally embarrassed and, also, worried that despite our apparent new neighborly togetherness on the street that occurred during all the snow clearing last winter someone's gonna be a douchebag and call the city on me. I swear to god, I take to sneaking out of my house when no one is around in order to avoid any disapproving neighbors. Justin tells me he will be at my house a bit after 2pm on Monday. I say the earliest I'd be able to get home would be 2:45. He's fine starting without me. He knows basically what I want and need done and if he has any questions, he'll leave that till I get there. So I do not hurry home. I head out of work at 3. On my way home I am texting D to ask whether Justin is in the yard or not. He is not. At three thirty I text Justin and ask whether he is coming. He says he is on his way, that he got stuck in traffic leaving Boston blah blah but he will see me in 15. I go upstairs to check my email and five minutes later, I get email from Justin, saying he cannot get a truck today and he'll come Wednesday when he's sure he'll have a truck to do the haul away. "You're not coming at all today?" I email back, incredulous. He'd just told me he'd see me in 15. W.T.F. I do not get a reply email for 5 hours, at which point Justin says he promises to be there Wednesday and I say he had better, because I am getting desperate. There is an implied threat in there, which Justin is apparently bright enough to pick up on. He says if he can, he will come Tuesday, but definitely Wednesday.
Tuesday I am leaving work and on my way to the gym. Justin texts me that he is heading to my house "to finish up" and will I be there? I text back that I'll be home around 4:45 and he says cool, he'll still be there. I am confused. Finish up? Had Justin had the whole day off from his other job and come to my house in the morning? Is this what implied threats get one?
I round the corner of my street at 4:40 and oh, there's been no work done in my yard. Justin is not there and has not been there. It dawns on me what is going on here. Justin screwed up and promised two people that he would be at their house on Monday. When I texted him, he thought I was the other customer. Hence the "I'll be there in 15" text and then 5 minutes later "I'm not coming today" email. He didn't think he was talking to the same person. I text Justin back and ask whether he has my phone number confused with another customer's and ask whether I can count on him being at my house Wednesday. Oh, Justin. Yes on both counts.
I get home yesterday afternoon to finally see Justin in front of my house attacking shit with his powerful weed whacker. He gets a lot done in the 2 1/2 hours he's at my house and promises to be back today to finish up and then haul away all the yard waste. I am mollified. Even with the waste not hauled away, I can walk out my front door and down the street without cringing and hoping none of the neighbors are out.
Moral of the story: when you hire someone off Craigslist, you needn't worry they will rape, rob, and/or murder you. They're too flaky and disorganized for that. But eventually they will show up and do a good job on the work you need done. Side moral of the story: you can count on any tradesperson you hire to not come when they say they are going to come and then lie like crazy about it. When the rapture comes this Saturday, ain't none of them floating up to heaven. The baby Jesus doesn't like liars, you know.
xoxo
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