Still cleaning out the basement, all y'all, throwing things out little by little and testing the limits of what I think the trash guys will take. I have seen some of the around-the-corner neighbors put, like, recliners out on the curb and they're not still there in the evening, so either the city takes them or those people drag 'em back into the house in a very timely manner.
Anyway, last night besides my three trash barrels and one lone Hefty bag, I put out two chairs that were down the basement: one green molded plastic "outdoor" chair that no one uses and one decrepit metal framed kitchen chair with a ripped seat that obviously was left behind by the lady who owned the house before us. There's another similar one down there, but I wasn't pushing my luck by putting out three trash-worthy chairs in one week. This morning when I got up, I peeked out to see if the garbagemen had come yet. They had not. However, that metal chair was gone! Somebody liberated it from my trash. Why anyone would want a 25 year old kitchen chair with a ripped seat that doesn't even have a mate, I could not fathom.
However, then it came to me: someone, riding around my neighborhood in the dawn hours, is a freakin' hoarder. It's the only sensible explanation for why anyone would take that. Though why they didn't take the plastic chair that was in better condition, I don't know. Maybe that metal chair is some kind of valuable retro antique and I was too stupid to know it was worth hundreds of bucks. Next week I'll try putting out the other chair and see if it disappears too.
I have to say, throwing shit out is so liberating, I am getting close to hiring a dumpster. I think it would be cheaper than the 1-800-junk guys and at this point I think I'm past caring about the neighbors hating me. This requires some thought. Hmmm. I'd like to take a week off from work in order to throw shit out, but I just cashed in a week of earned time to help with my cash flow, so I'm hoarding (see what I did there?) time off at the moment.
Happy Monday. Stay out of your neighbor's garbage, unless you're absolutely sure they're tossing out antiques. Antiques that are certified bedbug-free.
xoxo
3 comments:
When I cleaned out my grandfather's place, I ordered a 30-yard dumpster ($500 or $600 I don't remember) and they dropped it off in the driveway, then picked it up full once we were done. Well, twice we were done. You have no chance at the hoarder title if you haven't been a Yankee diary farmer for 99 1/2 years. Couldn't have been easier. If you're ready to toss all your stuff at once, it's absolutely the easiest and lowest-cost way to go. D could even help with the tossing.
I remember you telling me about that before, the last time I was throwing shit out left and right. Which is probably what implanted the idea in my head!
If you're on a roll, come and do my barn. Or at least, write some instructions. The barn has stuff that goes back 80 years.
To become a respectable hoarder, get a sign that says "antiques" in large letters, and "open by chance or appointment" in fine print.
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