So, according to jezebel, today is World Nutella Day and some fruitcake in California is suing them for claiming they are a healthy part of your kid's breakfast. I admit, those commercials are laughable but that's all they are: laughable. If you seriously think something made up primarily of sugar is good for you, then your kid deserves to get diabetes and OMG THE OBESITY booga booga. (I of course have no moral high ground on this, having admittedly fed my toddler "fruit snacks" on the faulty assumption that something that contains something that was once kinda sorta fruit had to be at least marginally better for you than, say, Hershey's Kisses. But goddamn it, that boy needed calories. Mothers of skinny preschoolers who seem to subsist primarily on air, you know what I am talking about.)
I am not a huge Nutella fan myself. I mean, it's good and all, but so many women seem to go on and on and on about it, like it's an orgasm in a jar, and it really ain't all that. This lawsuit is stoopid, though, obviously.
But it puts me in mind of other laughable food commercials in which dubious foods are being sold under the rubric of healthy eating. For instance, have you seen that one for (I believe) Total cereal in which they show you a bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch and about 18 various horse-sized pills vs a bowl of their own cereal and ask which you'd rather eat to get your complete daily quota of vitamins and minerals? This always makes me talk back to my TV and tell them that I personally would like to eat that bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch and, y'know, take a multivite, because Kashi Go Lean Crunch is the best tasting cereal EVAH. Plus it has 9 grams protein in it. Plus Total sucks.
It's like my beloved VitaminWater, which I am sadly broken up with. No one in their right mind believes that adding a few supplements to a bottle of sugar water *really* turns it into a health food, but someone felt the need to sue them too. I thought it was obvious that the clever little spiels on the bottles of this adult Kool Aid were just for entertainment value and no one is seriously swilling down cases of "mega-c" because they are concerned about their immune system. But I suppose I could be wrong!
My advice is, if you're gonna celebrate Nutella Day, chase it with some milk. That actually is good for you. Unless you're lactose intolerant. Ahem.
xoxo
1 comment:
Lawsuits like this are why lawyers will never go broke.
Speaking of Total reminds me of a conversation I had with a college-age employee years ago. I happened to mention that a cup of Total was two-thirds sugar. Skeptically, he said, "that would mean more than 5 oz of 8 oz is sugar." I smiled at him and said "that's right."
Never had Nutella, but I won't pick on it, seeing I can't pass by Whole Foods' chocolate peanut butter without salivating.
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