why is success success?

I don't know if any of you have seen this or heard any of the backlash against it, including I guess the author apparently backpedaling on TV, but it's made me think. The last time I saw Mr Indemnity we were having this discussion of what local towns had "good" school systems and I opined that I honestly did not see the obsession with this. I mean, obviously, you would prefer not to live where there's a crappy crappy school system if you can't afford private school for your children, but "good" as defined by how many high school graduates they send to the Ivy League or some such shit? No. So I said to Mr Indemnity (with my disingenuous face on) "Well, you and I didn't go to Good Schools, and we turned out okay." And he said something about, well, yeah, but he doesn't have a PhD from Harvard. I pointed out that even if he had gone to good schools, he wouldn't have a PhD from Harvard, 'cause he doesn't have that kind of drive (NOT an insult, I don't have that kind of drive either) plus would he be any more happy right now if he did have that Ivy League PhD?

I realize that I don't value so much of what is considered success in this country. Which is probably one reason why I was such a crappy mother and raised a slacker, but that's besides the point. Having a prestigious diploma is good, I guess, if it allows you to do what you want in life, but so is a non-prestigious diploma or none at all if ditto. If what you really really want to do is eventually become a partner at one of the top law firms in the country, a Harvard law degree will probably help you. If you really really want to do legal aid work, the law degree from Suffolk night school is probably just as good. (And I'd tell you which of those things I think makes you more of a success in my terms, but that would just be my class rage showing. Dennis Lehane had a nice bon mot about class rage in that book I just read! He's probably a fellow sufferer!)

So why is that mother in the article so proud of making her kids be musical prodigies and straight A students anyway? Who says that's the end-all, be-all? Plus, I could myself tell you a lil story about how when mothers make their daughters think they're supposed to be perfect, it fucks them up royally and sometimes even backfires. Let's just say mommy isn't happy when colleges are dropped out of and scholarships are thrown away and girl moves in with no-account boyfriend and eventually completes mommy's spiral of shame (after graduating from less prestigious college, though) by becoming pregnant out of wedlock. And turns out to be a nice person with awesome triceps and a very entertaining blog. Ahem. But not a success.

And that's all I have to say about that.

xoxo

Here's the quote from Mr Lehane: "'You think you're wearing that nice suit, but all I see you wearing is class rage. It's draped over you.'"