the more things change

This apparently is going to be my 1005th blog entry. Who knew? In the grand tradition of this blog, I will now proceed to tell you what a pissy, pissy mood I am in. I hope this is due to PMS, because I am late and I would like to think my losing a few pounds has not fucked up my cycle completely, but it's probably just because I am a cranky bitch. Let the listing of grievances commence.

1.) It is approximately 120% humidity today. (Yes, I know that is scientifically impossible. Have you never heard of exaggerating for effect? God.) Turn on the A/C, you cheap bastard, I hear you thinking. Tempting but no. My electric bill last month was perhaps the lowest it has been in, I dunno, forever. I do not know how exactly that happened--I mean there have been other months in which neither A/C nor heat have been required--but I am now motivated to continue the trend. So I will suffer. But humidity is not kind to my hair and I do not enjoy the feeling of my clothes stuck to my body. It makes me cranky.

2.) Though the weather forecast has maintained for three days that today was going to rain most or all of the day, there has been no rain since I got home from work. I was, however, thus deterred from doing anything outdoors, like going for a nice walk or working in the yard. If I had gotten anything accomplished today--exercise or pulling weeds, say--I might be less cranky. But now I just feel super cranky, sluggish, and disgusted with myself.

3.) The cat puked upstairs at some point while I was at work. Upon discovering this, I said loudly to the other people who live in this house, "The cat threw up!" They pretended they did not hear me, OR that I was stating this for purely informational purposes. So the puke stayed there until I picked it up.

4.) There was some kind of bug flying around this house that I could not even identify but had to kill. I don't like insects and I especially don't like mystery insects and I don't like that the reason these motherfuckers can get into my house is that even the screens I have that are more or less intact have teeny holes in them from certain vomiting evil house pets.

5.) My house is a pit. I've been psyching myself up to really clean it for three weeks now and that hasn't happened. I don't have enough energy to work out, keep the outside of the house decent enough that the neighbors don't call the city on me, cook, run everyone's errands for them, *and* clean. I'm not even gonna say that I don't have the time, because I probably do, but I don't have the emotional energy. Something's gotta give, because I think a person deserves some time to sit on the couch watching baseball or take a trip to the frightening countryside. I envy people who have boundless physical and mental energy, but I am not them. AS YOU KNOW, I am lazy. Adding more regular working out and yardwork to the agenda with the coming of spring/summer means my house is now once again a pit. Okay, a semi-pit.

6.) And I hate everyone. That includes you. Yes, you. No offense. (This is sounding more and more like PMS, praise Jesus.)

7.) A bunch more interpersonal shit that I do not feel like detailing in a light and entertaining manner. Too bad, so sad.

We'll stop at seven. That's a lucky number. Now I'm going to go clean the fuck out of this house.

Namaste, bitches.

xoxo