more questions, comments, and general stuff

I know I'm just talking to myself, but, hey, if you cannot amuse yourself, whom can you amuse?

1.) Question! Do you ever see old people smoking and think, "Damn. Beat the odds."?

2.) Question! Do you ever read my writing and realize I have very little idea how to properly punctuate most shiz?

3.) Question! Be that as it may, do you ever follow that train of thought about the old people smoking and then think, "They must be really stupid. It's only been about 40 years since every single person in America has known smoking causes cancer and they haven't decided to quit yet?"

4.) Question! Do you then realize that since they've lived to be old and haven't succumbed to cancer yet, maybe they're having the last laugh?

5.) Question! Does the phrase "be that as it may" actually mean anything if you stop to think about it?

6.) Comment! I appear to be having my period again. Question! Does this mean I have successfully reversed my menopause and I can quit worrying about vaginal atrophy for a while?

7.) Comment! I had a rack pull PR (<--"personal record", keep up, would you?) last night in the gym and I would like to brag: 185x3. I think this means I am close to being able to deadlift any of you all. Well, maybe if you were more ergonomically shaped. I could probably drag you out of a burning building though, especially if my adrenaline kicked in! This is why you want to be my friend.

8.) Comment! I have spared all y'all all kinds of celeb news. If you don't know that Oprah is Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby's godmother or that Rihanna is ::sad face:: friends with (i.e. most likely fucking) Chris Brown again, it is probably my fault.

9.) Comment! An online acquaintance of mine from RI is doing "anti-gravity yoga" which basically involves being suspended from the ceiling by bungee cords. It looks *awesome*. Questions! Why don't we have that here? How can RI possibly be more advanced than Massachusetts in anything? It's the same damn place, just smaller.

10.) Rhetorical question! How much are the Red Sox gonna suck this year? Prediction: epic suckage! Epic!

11.) Well wishes! Happy Friday, kids!

xoxo